“A Gigantic Pile Of Suck”

By I.P. Inmypantz, staff writer

Another season without a championship in Springfield brings continued frustration from the clubhouse to the owner’s box.  Winning 95 games and making the postseason for the thirteenth time didn’t provide any comfort when the season ended.

“We were a gigantic pile of suck,” team owner Jason Wert said after his team was bounced from the playoffs.

As they had into the 2026 season, the management and fans of the Puzzle Pieces are not optimistic about the upcoming season.  Season ticket sales have been extremely slow and the club didn’t bring in any solid free agents to bolster the anemic offense.

“We’ll be lucky to break .500 this year,” Wert said to reporters after a 6-5 loss to Maryville on Monday.  “This team is going to really have to surprise all of us if we’re to make it back to the playoffs again.  I anticipate we’ll have plenty of time for golf when the regular season ends.”

General Manager Dale Wert tried to put a more positive spin on the situation than his team owner father.

“I think we can compete well this year,” he told reporters.  “We have some good young arms in Steve Moore and Andrew Duncan that could help spark the team.  Adding Samuel Violette brings some veteran wisdom to the clubhouse along with a few dozen home runs.  I’m eager to see what catcher Jason Wagner can do over a full season.”

The players were obviously more enthused about the start of the year.

“I think we have a good team and I think we’ll surprise a lot of people,” 2 time league MVP Kuemon Kimura said.  “Including, it appears, our boss.”

The Puzzle Pieces open up at home against Maryville on Tuesday.